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Psychological issues with gaining weight...

Weight gain. A topic that is not often talked about. It is always about weight loss. But what if you need to gain weight? If you are too skinny and you have decided to get healthy again?! 

I am on my weight gain journey to get my period and my full female health back. I have asked you all on Instagram to hand in your questions about weight gain and i will try to answer every single question you had. (If more people asked the same question, which happend quite often, i will obviously just answer it once) There were so many questions though, that i will have to split this post into several parts. I want to answer every single question properly, since i feel like its a completely underrated topic, that should get more attention. 

So lets dive right in: 

@brechtje.hendricks: Why do you think your weight is too low?
I personally don’t think my weight is too low. I feel really comfortable. I don’t look unhealthy, or sick. I have a ton of energy and feel happy and healthy. But i haven’t had a period in over 5 years. That is alarming and shows that my body is definitely not healthy. It can even be dangerous for your bones to not have your hormones all balanced out. I was told that my body needs to naturally be at a higher weight to produce all the hormones it needs. Although i feel good at this moment, my body is build to be a little heavier than others.

@keelyshayeboon: How do you gain muscle without gaining fat?
I am not a fitness instructor and that is definitely not what I want. I WANT to gain fat, because that is what my body needs right now. It can actually be very dangerous for women to have a low bodyfat-percentage. I did a test at the beginning of my journey, which showed my terribly low body fat and therefore calculated by physical age at 12 years old. How freaky and scary is that? I don’t want to look 12 years old. I want to look my age. I want to look like a woman and therefore i need fat on my body. 

@sofkarolina: Are you doing it by gaining muscle or just to get a little softness?
I think this question was already answered by the one above, but I want to add that a little softness is not a bad thing. Some people are build more muscular in general, some people are created to be more soft and curvy. We are all different and even our bone structure is so individual. That should definitely be something to keep in mind. You can’t really compare yourself to others, cause you are your own beautiful human and no-one is you. 

@raquel_vilorio: I don’t have an appetite, but I wanna gain weight. How can I do that?
I would go for smoothies. Liquid calories are the way to go, if you get full easily. Also nuts and seeds are a great healthy snack, that is full of energy. You can also add peanut butter, coconut oil or avocado to your meals for some extra calories. 

@rekamanon: Do you measure your macro intake?
Nope i dont. 

@anonym: Have you had any physological problems gaining weight?
HELL YES. It took me 2 years to realize that there was something wrong with me. Then another year to actually slowly make some changes and then another year to overcome all the fear foods and then the last year of really actively working on my health. It is crazy what a mental illness can do to your brain and how it can totally fuck you up. I can’t believe how much the illness changed me as a person and how much it affected my social life. When i stepped on the scale I felt horrible. I hated feeling my body get thicker. I hated my arms not being super bony. I actually hated being able to sleep properly (I used to always wake up, because my body was so bony and it hurt) And I hated feeling full. That full feeling made me feel sick and guilty and i just wanted to reverse time. When i felt bad like that i would either go to the gym and train everything off or go to bed and pretend nothing happened. But i would always be scared to meeting up with friends or going to events where there could be food. When I gained the weight I had to deal with body dysmorphia. I always thought i was super fat and ugly. But it does take time. You just need to give your body time and trust in yourself, that you can do this. You will be able to succeed if you really want to. I always kept my motivation in mind of being a mother one day and that made me push through. 

@studywithmila: How do you gain weight being vegetarian/vegan?
It is actually a myth that its harder to gain weight on a cruelty free diet. Just make sure to eat enough calories. I gave a few recipes HERE that i use to gain weight. Try to include loads of nuts and seeds, healthy fats and lots of carbs. I love porridge, rice, pasta, bread, lentils and beans. So many beautiful creations are possible when eating plant based. 

@saemmi_mlk: What do you think about peoples comments such as „Ou you look so good now that you have gained weight“? 

When I was physically recovering, but still mentally sick, I HATED that. It made me feel worthless and like i was doing something wrong. I couldn’t take it as a compliment, because i had worked so hard to get rid f the weight and now people started to see me as a normal girl again and that made me depressed. 
But now that i am almost completely recovered mentally, I love it. It makes me so happy to see, that people say that the weight shows and that i look good. My mum commented on my back the other day. She said she was so happy it didn’t look like a skeleton any longer. That made me so so happy, since my back was always one of the boniest things about my body. 

@saemmi_mlk: How do you deal wit family and friends trying to loose wight or eating less than you?
That was also something really really hard at the beginning of my journey. Nowadays i am pretty good with it. Although I hate people, who go on diets because of no reason. I can totally understand, when someone wants to be healthier or loose a few pounds. But then there are girls that looks super good, but feel like they need to live of one single apple a day to get even skinnier. I feel really sad for them and it makes me angry how out society pressures them into thinking that way. 

@saemmi_mlk: How do you know when your body is back at a healthy state? 
For me my period is the final step. 
Did you stop all exercise while trying to gain weight?
No i didn’t but it definitely lowered it down to a minimum. Back in the day I went to the gym 5 days a week. Now I do a gentle calming yoga session every day (about 30min) and then i go running maybe once a week. 

The rest of the questions will be answered in a second post. 


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