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I am fat, ugly and stupid - get rid of negativity.

I am fat, ugly and stupid. How to get rid of negative thoughts.


We all put ourselves down way too often. We think, we are not worth it. We are not pretty enough, not skinny enough, not smart enough. We are simply not perfect.

I had to struggle with negative thoughts a lot. When i was still anorexic, I hated myself. I didn't like a thing about myself and i desperately wished to be someone else. I would have probably killed for a different body...literally. But i decided to kill myself instead. Kill my soul and my body. Very slowly but surely. 

Now i have overcome these very dark days, but i still struggle with negative moments. Sometimes i wake up, look at myself and would just love to crawl back to bed. 
Why am I so ugly?
Why am i so disgusting? Why do my dark circles make me look like a zombie? Why is my hair so dull and frizzy? Why is my tummy not shredded? Why is my butt saggy? Why do I have stretch marks and cellulite? Why is my chin so pointed? Why? Why? Why am I not perfect?

On these days I need to work on my attitude and push myself to choose happiness and confidence. 

How the fuck i do that? I'll tell you how:

I have 5 different approaches on how to brighten my day:

1. The naked stare.
I go in front of a big mirror and just strip down. Completely naked. And i look at myself. I look at every curve, every hair, every bump and bone. I look at that beautiful creation of love, that is me. I look at this body, that gives me life. That body, that gives me the possibility to run, dance, travel....enjoy life. That body that is healthy. That body, that is unique and perfectly imperfect.

2. The sexy twerk.
I put on some amazing music. (Personally i am feeling rap or RnB in these moments) and I just dance around the room like a crazy person. I can't really twerk, but i try. I twirl and i pretend to be a good ass singer. The magic of music gives me so much confidence and joy.

3. The positive mantra.
I love sitting down on my bed and just going through my positive mantra. It's best to create your own one, but mine goes something like that:

I love myself. I am a beautiful, unique spirit. There is no one else quite like me.
I am worthy of love. As a creature on this earth, I am worthy of being loved and cherished by others. My worth is untarnished by my imperfections or the way others see me.
I am strong. I have many strengths that I use to navigate the ups and downs of my life. I am tougher and braver than I look.
I am becoming. I am becoming the person I want to be. Each day, I work to make myself more the person I want to be.
My life is moving forward perfectly. Each bump in the road is there for a reason. Everything is happening according to a greater plan.
I am confident in my decisions. I am the creator of my own destiny. I stand behind the things I do and say.


4. The digital detox. 
I put away all of my electronic devices and go to a park, a lake or forest. I try to separate myself from this hectic lifestyle and reconnect with mother earth. Our planet is a huge circle of life and detaching from all the superficial worries makes me reconnect with that circle and ground myself to realize that tiny but important part I play in this massive universe. 

5. The diary.
I am a huge diary fan. Writing down your worries makes it easier to reflect and work on them. Most of the time I feel a huge weight has been lifted of my shoulders, when i let go and write down my worries and insecurities. All the negative energy is building up inside our souls and can get flushed out by transfering the thoughts on paper.

Namaste,
Hannah



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