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Feeling uncomfortable in your own body.

That feeling of total discomfort in your own skin. It is the worst. But i know it too.
(This has to be marked as an advertisement, because I tagged places and brands - not sponsored)

An experience I had just a few days ago motivated me to write this post. I was at a lovely spa with my boyfriend. It was a nude spa and actually the perfect place to completely let go and relax. I don't have any issues with nudity in general but on that day I felt like total shit and super uncomfortable with myself, so the wonderful relaxing trip turned into a really weird and tense experience. I felt shame, I wanted noone to see me. I thought everyone was staring at me. I was wearing my robe and could not enjoy one bit of this exciting day. It was like someone walked into my head and pulled out all the negativity that I had neatly stored away in a tiny box in the very back of my brain.

I am still working on loving myself and accepting my body. Most of the time, I am doing pretty well and i feel happy and content 90% of my life. But then there are days, where I just want to hide. I could cry every minute and i feel like crap. There is still this little dark voice inside, that tells me I am wrong, not worthy and not good enough. I can't really explain it. I panic, I want to hide, want noone to see or hear me...my heart is racing, I get really emotional. Then I get embarrassed about being emotional and so i get even more emotional. Its an endless annoying cycle. 
But I have learned how to break this cycle. I have learned how to limit these feelings to certain days that happen every now and then, but are fairly limited. 

It's ok to have bad days and it's ok to be sad and unwell, but you have to work on feeling better as well. Don’t let yourself be stuck for long. I have created a little mantra for myself to get me out of my bad thoughts. I ask myself: Who am I? What is my purpose? What do I love? What do I admire about myself? Trying to focus on my inner talents and collecting all that positivity that is somewhere hidden inside. Its just negative beliefs about your own self, that hinder you from shining bright and loving yourself. You are the only one who is blocking your creative soul to break free.  
So take your power back. Say "fuck off you dark inner demon" and tell yourself how amazing, lovable and unique you are. Cause you are wonderful just the way you were born. Your differences make you who you are and that is the most beautiful thing about you. 

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